When my heart feels like like it's dropping from heights
and my tears feel like the very moment heavy waves push the sand;
it's not a dangerous feeling
it's not evil or hopeless,
but it's my whole, entire heart.
When I become overwhelmed by everything I love and everything I have ever loved
everything I have ever lost and have yet to lose that my heart breaks for
everything I could ever want and hope for my own life and for others
every heart ache or hard day that felt like each day wasn't as golden
as it was
everything I have ever smelled, heard, practiced, touched.
Every skill I've ever wanted to learn,
every house I've dreamed of building,
every different world and life I've wanted to be a part of,
every version of me that could've been different,
every day ahead of me that could go a million different ways.
Really at the center all it has ever been was this skin and this mind
what holds each delicate feeling so safe.
My sunday songs
my comforts like
thinking of fireflies at dusk with my toes in the summer grass
the way the first delicate snow fall smells on an empty and quiet street
a winding road through the tall trees
a song on repeat for 12 days
a connection to a story, a movie, a character
the sound of leaves
the reel in my head that plays this perfect imagination
bells and build ups in that song
energy from a smoothie
mood swings up with clarity
true clarity
the moment I decide to just keep driving
They are gifts
from myself.
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