It's a Good Playlist When You Keep Driving

• Monte -Zee Avi
• The Only Living Boy in New York -Simon & Garfunkel
• Months -The Middle East
• Goodness -Page France
• Beach Baby -Bon Iver
• You're Going to Cry -La Sera
• Wait -Priory
• You're A Wolf -Sea Wolf

Sleep Paralysis

Sleep paralysis is the experience of waking up (usually form a dream) and feeling paralyzed, except for being able to breathe and move the eyes. The inability to move or speak can last from 30 seconds to three minutes and speech is difficult or almost impossible.  Hypnogogic hallucinations and sleep paralysis may occur together.

If you haven't experienced this, I don't think you can even imagine how absolutely terrifying it is to not be able to speak or move.  This is especially scary during sleep paralysis in which something in your dream is attempting to harm you or is harming you.

There are two major types of sleep paralysis: common (typical) also known as CSP and hallucinatory (hypnagogic) sleep paralysis known as HSP.        

Differences between CSP and HSP:

• CSP is common and universal, HSP is rare and seems to be geographically episodic.
• CSP is only unnerving for the sleeper but HSP is accompanied by a nightmare like hallucination.
• CSP is of relatively short duration where HSP can last as long as seven or eight minutes.

HSPs are usually a vision of a small creature that sits on the victims chest. The creature then either compresses the chest or attempts to strangulate the victim. Almost all attacks have been reported by people sleeping on their backs.

This is particularly what bothers me in all he research that I have done.  I have no doubt experienced CSP countless times, but the last two dreams I had in which I experienced sleep paralysis, I'm fairly certain it was HSP.




Here's one example of my terrifying dreams:

I am fairly restless as I try to fall asleep in my big bed.  My mind is racing and I can't seem to sleep.  There are noises in the kitchen and outside my window (of course everything sounds 10x louder when you're trying to sleep). It's about 2:30 a.m. when I finally fall asleep.  All of a sudden I'm starting to wake up.  I can open my eyes, but I cannot move any part of my body nor can I speak. 

What is going on?

There's a dark shadow across the room standing by my dresser.  My mind is racing.  

Why can't I move? 
What is in my room? 
What will it do to me? 

At this point I am absolutely terrified.  The shadow slowly moves towards me.  I open my mouth to scream as loud as I can and nothing comes out.  My eyes open wider and wider, tearing up with fright.  The figure reaches the bed and I still cannot make out its face.  Before I know it I am being repeatedly stabbed in the stomach.  My body is shaking. At this point I know I am dreaming because I feel no pain but I am still terrified.  I can't breathe.  I want to wake up. Please someone wake me up.  I want to wave my arms in the air, I want to fight back. My body is motionless without choice. The dark figure then pulls fire out of nowhere.  I know I am going to be lit on fire.  I can't breathe.  
Please
Wake
Up


Finally I awake from my dream desperately gasping for air. I am shaking and freezing cold.  My eyes remain wide open in the dark.  There is no way I will go back to sleep now...what if it happens again?
I should be relieved at this point to be awake, but I can't help but remain scared.  What if I'm not really awake and sleep paralysis is happening again?  What if this is part of the dream and it's only going to happen again? I pick up my phone to make a call. I cannot go back to sleep tonight.

Why Blog?

Sometimes I feel too overwhelmed to keep everything inside, but am not sure who to trust or who to talk to.  I want to keep a record or something of the sort on what I feel, what I think.  My opinions are constantly changing as I get older, especially now.  Come along with me on my confusing journey; I want to open up my heart.

Probably the biggest reason that I want to have this blog, however, is because I have been experiencing sleep paralysis for a while now and want to keep a journal of my dreams and try and track what is going on in my life when it occurs.  I hope to find an explanation for why it's bad some days and why it even happens at all.

Welcome to my world!