How do you start to write when your heart and mind are in 1,000 different places?  Here I sit, alone, in our apartment.  It is May 8th, 2016...Mother's Day.  When I think of the love that I have for my mother, I could cry.  When I think of the love that I have for her mother for the fact that she raised my mother, well I am crying.  Although her mind is slipping, the past remains.  Everything she built still remains.  How amazing is that.  I am always getting down on myself for being so attached to the past and things that have happened.  But how beautiful is that...sometimes it is all you have.  And it is so insanely powerful.  The past is why we have now.

I have been thinking about social media.  I have been reading about it, listening to podcasts, TED talks;  and it is hurting me more than ever.  My soul hurts to think that our society is completely enveloped in this ego-boosting monster.  This monster that is creating more monsters.  Now more than every every single person feels like the most important, the most special.  Every single person needs validation.  Every single person wants the best all the time.  This makes me feel sad for people,  it makes me not trust people.  My mind constantly reels on building a cabin.  On at least spending some time in solitude.  SOME. I need some.  I need something.  Or i'll crack out of my own damn head.